© Rochelle Potkar | Powered by Wherever there’s Knowledge, there’s no Ego for me…
I have just closed, once again, the manhole on a 10-year-old poetry-politics issue (from 3 obscure? poets), targeting me with fake narratives to suit their purposes, agendas, biases, and insecurities. I hope the lid stays tightly shut now for good. They cried wolf-wolf, victim-crying even though they were the real perps, and fooled a few compassionate gullibles with their croc-tears. But the truth has a habit of coming out sooner or later.
2.
To the inheritors of this afore-mentioned hatred, I don’t care if you want to read on stage with me at a festival or don’t, or want to share panel space with me or don’t. Your insecurities, you deal with. Your complexes, you deal with. Your biases and prejudice, you deal with.
I have nothing against (or for) you. I always knew you were being influenced by croc-teared fake-victims, but I have never coveted a friendship with you. We have no karmic connections, exchanges, or lessons to share. No journeys to the sunset together. No roads together.
I have known these dynamics for years. Have been at the receiving end of microaggressions that have miraculously toughened me up (thank you so much, muuuuuah!). So when I accept a presentation invitation despite my discomfiture with you, don’t read this as my privilege. It’s because I am too trained as a corporate professional to have composure and grace rather than throwing tantrums. I will not also trouble the curator/organizer with petty issues. They have a lot to take care of. As a firsthand curator, I know this – from logistics to time-keeping, catering to travel, and accommodation. I am immune to hateful oozy vibes from anyone on stage or backstage. I concentrate pin-pointedly on my audience and engage with them. Like Arjuna’s focus (on the bird’s eye). Because they are, I am!
So don’t gloat over your tiny ‘No’s’. You have not rejected me. I don’t care about your presence or absence. I don’t bring my ego to work. And there are 100’s who want to read alongside me. From every city.
Even in the future, if you are in the lineup to read with me at any panel, I will not step back – because I don’t bring my ego to work. So I will not throw a tantrum and reject you. So you will think you have the space for refusal. But that’s all the space you will get. A thousand times. Because even the 1000th time, I won’t let my ego come in the way.
Your presence/absence at a panel will add nothing to me in the present or the long run. But the show will go on. Festivals and panel discussions will run.
You and me will age.
But time will run young.
Poetry will flow.
Wine will flow.
The night is forever young.